After close observation:

Work productivity decreases relatively and proportionally with the time left to start your vacation.

Some people don’t believe in bad luck…those people have not met me yet.

I certainly agree that everyone will definitely face bad situations in his life, and i certainly agree that any of the situations i’ve been through could easily happen to anyone else. But i also believe that they can’t happen to anyone else than me in such a systematic, ironic and timely manner.

It’s as if the whole world is conspiring against me, it’s like i am the living proof of Murphey’s laws. Sometimes people meet me and say: “dont worry, its just coincidences, you are perfectly normal, my cousin was in the same situation as you” but they realize their mistake later on when they know me better

Its thousands of small things, nothing severe or fatal so far, thank God, but its too much.

So, back to the story, let me tell you how did my last week go:

• Tue 21 April 9:30am: I join my new work….
• Wed 27 May: A stupid conversation with my father about how careless i am, it all started when he saw the mess in my room, the conversation included a question on where do i place the work’s laptop among a few other questions…. all my responses where among the lines of “dont worry father, i know what am doing”
• Thu 28 May – 5:00pm: Work is finished,  a colleague asked me if i could give him a lift as he doesnt have his car today, i said yes, since he live in heliopolis which is not too far from me.
• Thu 28 May – 6:00pm: Dropped him off at his home, discovered that he lives near Diwan bookshop, so i decided that after all the tension i am going through the past few weeks, i really need a relaxing weekend at home with a good book.
• Thu 28 May – 6:10pm: Got my book and headed back to my car.
• Thu 28 May – 6:11pm: I noticed the car is much noisier than usual, looked back, to find the window’s glass is broken, 10 seconds later i realize that the laptop which i left on the back seat is missing (yes, the laptop i got from my new work, which costs 1200EUR)
  Yes, this is the SECOND TIME I LOSE WORK’S LAPTOP!!!!!!! mesh mesada2 nafsy ya3ny!
• Thu 28 May – 6:30pm: Trying to file a report in Nozha police station(which is located just next to heliopolis square btw!!), after long conversation, they told me the robbery didnt occur in their area and i have to file the report in Heliopolis police station
• Thu 28 May – 7:00pm: Trying to find an officer to file a report…
• Thu 28 May – 7:30pm: Still trying…
• Thu 28 May – 8:15pm: The report is done, i ask to get the report number and a copy of it to provide to work, the guy said we have to ask “Wael Basha” first!!!
• Thu 28 May – 9:00pm: Wael Basha went out….still waiting for him.
• Thu 28 May – 10:00pm: I go fix the broken glass
• Thu 28 May – 10:45pm: Looks like Wael Basha mezawa3′….i go home
• Fri 29 May – 3:00pm: I go get a haircut
• Fri 29 May – 3:45pm: Finished my hair cut, go back to my car, Wind Shield glass is broken (YES! The front glass) lewa7do keda! ghayran men a7′ou!
• Sat 30 May – 4:00pm: Back to police station, trying to get my copy of report, had to pay money under the table to get the report number
• Sat 30 May – 5:30pm: The guy said he cant get it to me today as the number i got is wrong, will meet him tom early morning to get it (he wants more money!)
• Sat 30 May – 7:30pm: You dont want to know.
• Tue 2 June – 7:00pm: My car totally broke up
• Thu 4 June – 6:00pm: Total cost to fix car and renew license etc 3200LE

lets try to do a rational analysis looking at the past events, we can find the irony in the following:

• The work’s laptop had to be stolen(2nd time ) when i merely completed a month at my new work!
• It also had to be stolen just the next day where my father was accusing me of being careless and tells me to watch out where i place my laptop in car!!!!!
• My colleague at work HAD to ask for a ride that day!
• He had to live next to Diwan!
• The theif had to pass by my car during the 10 mins i left it unattended!!!
• The glass HAD to break the next day!!!

Do you think it’s all a coincidence? i think NOT!

Just to remind you:

• Left to themselves, things tend to go from bad to worse
• Smile today. . . tomorrow will be worse
• If it seems to good to be true, it probably isn’t

ان حظي كدقيق فوق شوك نثروه ,,, ثم قالو لحفاة يوم ريح اجمعوه !!!
صعب الأمر عليهم ثم قالو اتركوه ,,, ان من اشقاه ربي كيف انتم تسعدوه!!!

Busy busy busy, that’s how my past 2 weeks has been

I am now officially a PADI certified open water diver, yay! (more to come on that later) i went to Dahab (again) but this time to finish then diving course with the amazing Dr. Nabil Fadlallah from CairoDivers.

I am also ISTQB certified (it’s a software testing certificate for those of  you non-techie), it was really hard to take that one, not because it’s difficult, but because i forgot how to study, memorize definitions and solve exams. It was a hell, reminded me of college exams, and the fear of failure :S ewww it was horrible.

I also studied for CEH (Certified Ethical Hacker) i should take the exam anytime next week.

So, YEA! if i pass the CEH exam this month, it’ll be the month of certificates for me 3 certificates, one month !

بلد بتاعت شهادات صحيح

Today is one of these days, where you wish you are not yourself.

When you wake up, and think today doesn’t look so good, and then Murphey’s laws start their magic.

I just hate you all, my work myself and everything. DIE!

i’ll now go hide in the corner, switch the lights off and cry to death.

Here are some pictures i took while am here in KSA, with my comments at the bottom

Main two buildings in Riyadh, Al Mamlaka (at the back) and Al Faisalyah (the one we got robbed at )
There are no other high buildings, most buildings are less than 5 floors.

Al Saraya Turkish restaurant in Talatiny Al Olaya St. ثلاثين العليا
No comment many countries would get offended if i commented on that one

On my first days in Riyadh, i thought that tamwenat is a brand name for a chain of super markets….
Then i discovered that a supermarket is caled tamwenat here
Its very common here, they are eveywhere.

El 7′eyata el regaleya IT IS EVERYWHERE this is where they make the galabeyas and the shema3′
هنا بيفصلوا الجلاليب و الشماغ و الحاجات دى……مع أن الجلاليب كلها بيضاء…بس فى 100 نوع قماش و 100 نوع ياقة و 100 نوع جيب و زراير و حركات.
بس فى الأخربرضو, كله جلاليب

The worlds largest Plasma TV Panasonic 103 inch (HOLY CRAP!!! CAN YOU IMAGE THAT!)
And the price tag says: 270,000SR (yes, thats almost 72,000USD and 400,000EGP)
أكبر تليفزيون فى العالم ب 400,000 ألف جنيه بس,,,يا بلاش!!!! كنت حجيب 2, بس للأسف مفيش مكان فى الشنطة

Al Tahleya St. something like gam3et el dowal st in egypt its where all the youth gather and go out, a lot of shops etc…..except you don’t see anyone walking in the streets (that’s how it is in KSA) and you don’t see any females (damn it! i haven’t seen a girl for LOOOONGGG time now)

Me and Osama in Dr. Cafe, few minutes after this picture, we were thrown out, because prayer time came and they had to close.

The only thing you can do in Saudi Arabia, EATTTTTTT
i think i gained like 6-7 more kilo during my stay here. the pic was taken at Chilli’s

It was a slaughter, thats what remains from the chocolate fudge with ice cream (yummmmyyyyyyy)

Me and Rami, stuck in the elevator

At the Faisaleyah mall, it says Single men are not allowed. You can’t enter the mall on weekends if you’re a single man, families only!!!!!! (holy crap)!!
ممنوع دخول العزاب!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Juice center!!! no comment
مركز عصير!!!! و كمان ماما نوره؟

أبح!!! كان فى حاجات تانية مش لذيذة,,بس قولت بلاش فضايح عالنت

It’s been a few days since my last blog, a few things happened, but i was so busy to blog (specially that i have no laptop now, so the only chance to blog is from the office, which as you might notice, i would be SO busy, so i can get out of here as soon as possible)

A few good things happened too, i can’t deny that finally things at work began to move a little bit and i made some progress.

Regarding the disasters, nothing really major, except that my tooth was hurting me really bad, dentist said it would cost 800SR just to fix it….it’s much better now, the pain is gone, i hope it’ll stay that way until am back to Egypt.

Apart from that, nothing really serious, just minor stuff, like we go to eat, we all order grilled chicken sandwich, and i am the only one who gets his sandwich with all the salad and topping but without the chicken (it’s ok, i returned it back to the restaurant)

Maybe also that once, where i was waiting for someone in front of the mall, and that weird dude in his car came and tried to “give me a ride”…it was so disturbing

But hell!!! life is much better now (compared to what it was a few days ago, it’s very relative…… moving from -100 to -20 is a great improvement, but you’re still in the minus )

Regarding the passports, we still have to complete some more papers before we could get new passports, we’ll see how it goes, police here is so bad (worse than egypt, can you imagine that?) and the Egyptian embassy is as bad as..ehmm i dunno,, as an Egyptian embassy

I had many people speak to me, saying that i am not so unlucky and there is no such thing as disasters magnet and that it’s all just a coincidence and that probably me putting all these thoughts in my mind is what causing it.

So i thought to myself, and i was like “Yea, it could be true, i’ll just not think about that anymore”

But here’s what happened:

All the Egyptians in the company working in Riyadh at the moment gathered in the office to watch the final match between Egypt & Cameroon (WELL DONE EGYPT!!! i never really thought we could make it….well done)
Thank God we won, or they could’ve killed me if we didnt

Our office is in a HUGE building called “Al Faysaliah – الفيصلية” which is one of the very few massive buildings in Riyadh.

There are 5 elevators in that building, so after the match we all decided to go back to the hotel and so, we get into one of the elevators and it’s really neat and clean, the elevator is BIG the sign says it fits 15 persons, it’s made by Mitsubishi and it’s really advanced (DOH! it needs an electronic access card to operate)

We were 7 inside it, less than half the allowed capacity, while the elevator moved down, a few shakes hit us, but it’s okay.
Just the minute we are near the ground floor, the elevator stops.

Opps, we’re stuck in the elevator!!!!!

We tried every possible button combination one could imagine, shouting and screaming and everything (the alarm button did not seem to work)

After a few minutes, we called our friends from the office who were lucky enough not to get into the same elevator as us to call the security, just seconds later, the speaker in the elevator worked (looks like that alarm button was working after all )

A saudi speaking guy, saying stuff i didn’t understand, later they translated to me he was telling us to wait, and asked how long we’ve been here.

They try to open the door, they successfully do, but we were afraid to jump, as the elevator was stuck between two floors, if it moves while someone is jumping, it could cut him in half

so we told them to leave the door open for a few mins to get some fresh air in, and to try and move the elevator from the main control unit. To do so , we had to close the door first (so the elevator can move)

But hey! no luck

It was more than 20 mins passed since we’ve been stuck in there, so i was really tired and i decided just to sit on the floor until we get out ( i have some pictures will post them later)

So we decided that if they can’t move it, we’ll risk jumping out of the door if that’s our only choice…. but (why must be always a but? ) they cant open the door again…somehow, for some weird reason, the tool they use to open the door, or the door itself i dunno, became loose and doesn’t want to open.

It’s like, i gave you a chance to escape and you refused it, now you’ll be stuck here forever
Many people decided to sit down like me, as we were all tired

we called the police to ask for help.

After about 45-60mins they managed to open the door again and we all jumped out safely.

You have no idea what looks everyone gave me , you know in the movies, when they catch an evil witch in the 17th century, how everyone look at her? i was the evil witch

So yea, 7 of us got stuck in an elevator for almost an hour

looks like i will have a disaster to blog about everyday, so wait for the series. You know what, the only good thing about this, is that no one gets hurt (so far, ya rab dayman)

I am not in the ***** (insert a curse word here +ing) mood

I dont know why…

maybe because:

• I broke another tooth? (YES! ANOTHER F(*&!@# tooth, so its 2 now broken in this shitty country) i cant eat on both sides of the mouth now.
• Work sucks….not that it always does..but this time it sucks so bad…SUPER BAD
• I am SERIOUSLY bored
• Emotionally unstable

I don’t know why, seriously, all i can say is that YOU ARE LUCKY, not to be around me now….i could stab you in the face if did\said ANY thing wrong

you know “العفاريت بتنطط قدام وشى؟ and مش طاق حد يدوسلى على طرف؟ and also روحى بقت فى مناخيرى”

أشرف إبن الكاشف…أتسرق يا منزز

First of all, i would like to HATE all the people who did not help us, who ignored us, who robbed us and to the most majority of the Saudi People (i cant say all the saudi people)

It was a wednesday, the end of the week in Saudi Arabia, we finished work, having our rented car in the parking of the place we work at, we put our laptops in the trunk of the car and we head to bring something to eat.

At the mall, (Al Faysaliah mall – الفيصلية ) which is a huge mall and very crowded…we parked and went to get some take-away food.

We spent less than 25 minutes…only to come back to the car in the parking space, to find the window broken and everything is gone

The following stuff  were stolen:

• 6 Laptop computer (mine included)
• 5 Passports (mine included)
• A few hundred dollars were in the laptop bag
• 1 Saudi Ekama
• 1 Book i had borrowed (shame on me)

We were all surprised, we all thought that Saudi Arabia is crime free, specially that they cut the hands of any one who steals.

Wow, what a diet!

We called the police, after almost 20-30mins a very old man came to us, he said that we have to either go by ourselves to the police station, or he could drop us there.

We called our friends here, they came immediately and we all went to the police station, they refused to let us in (we were 7 persons) and they only allowed 2 of us to go in, the rest of us had to wait in the car (for F sake, we all lost our passports, how come you won’t let us in file a report?)

We were in contact by phone, the 2 guys in there told us they are being completely ignored by the police because they are Egyptians, they said it’s expected to take long.

After about 30 mins, they came out, as a Saudi friend came to help and he had some powerfull relations with the police.

Only to find out that they cant do anything as the weekend has started and we can’t do anything until saturday (DOH! the police cant make any reports during weekends…this must be criminals heaven)

So now, i have no passport, not laptop and all the work is gone.

I am pretty sure everything has been sold by now, including the passports.
I guess when i try to come back to Egypt, they will tell me that i can’t go in, as according to their records i am already in Egypt

Looks like i will be stuck here for quite some time..

Just a note for myself in the future…..” I FRIGGIN HATE SAUDI ARABIA NOW!!!! I HATE YOU!!! I HATE YOU!!! I HATE YOU!!!! PISS OFF!!”