Some people don’t believe in bad luck…those people have not met me yet.

I certainly agree that everyone will definitely face bad situations in his life, and i certainly agree that any of the situations i’ve been through could easily happen to anyone else. But i also believe that they can’t happen to anyone else than me in such a systematic, ironic and timely manner.

It’s as if the whole world is conspiring against me, it’s like i am the living proof of Murphey’s laws. Sometimes people meet me and say: “dont worry, its just coincidences, you are perfectly normal, my cousin was in the same situation as you” but they realize their mistake later on when they know me better

Its thousands of small things, nothing severe or fatal so far, thank God, but its too much.

So, back to the story, let me tell you how did my last week go:

• Tue 21 April 9:30am: I join my new work….
• Wed 27 May: A stupid conversation with my father about how careless i am, it all started when he saw the mess in my room, the conversation included a question on where do i place the work’s laptop among a few other questions…. all my responses where among the lines of “dont worry father, i know what am doing”
• Thu 28 May – 5:00pm: Work is finished,  a colleague asked me if i could give him a lift as he doesnt have his car today, i said yes, since he live in heliopolis which is not too far from me.
• Thu 28 May – 6:00pm: Dropped him off at his home, discovered that he lives near Diwan bookshop, so i decided that after all the tension i am going through the past few weeks, i really need a relaxing weekend at home with a good book.
• Thu 28 May – 6:10pm: Got my book and headed back to my car.
• Thu 28 May – 6:11pm: I noticed the car is much noisier than usual, looked back, to find the window’s glass is broken, 10 seconds later i realize that the laptop which i left on the back seat is missing (yes, the laptop i got from my new work, which costs 1200EUR)
  Yes, this is the SECOND TIME I LOSE WORK’S LAPTOP!!!!!!! mesh mesada2 nafsy ya3ny!
• Thu 28 May – 6:30pm: Trying to file a report in Nozha police station(which is located just next to heliopolis square btw!!), after long conversation, they told me the robbery didnt occur in their area and i have to file the report in Heliopolis police station
• Thu 28 May – 7:00pm: Trying to find an officer to file a report…
• Thu 28 May – 7:30pm: Still trying…
• Thu 28 May – 8:15pm: The report is done, i ask to get the report number and a copy of it to provide to work, the guy said we have to ask “Wael Basha” first!!!
• Thu 28 May – 9:00pm: Wael Basha went out….still waiting for him.
• Thu 28 May – 10:00pm: I go fix the broken glass
• Thu 28 May – 10:45pm: Looks like Wael Basha mezawa3′….i go home
• Fri 29 May – 3:00pm: I go get a haircut
• Fri 29 May – 3:45pm: Finished my hair cut, go back to my car, Wind Shield glass is broken (YES! The front glass) lewa7do keda! ghayran men a7′ou!
• Sat 30 May – 4:00pm: Back to police station, trying to get my copy of report, had to pay money under the table to get the report number
• Sat 30 May – 5:30pm: The guy said he cant get it to me today as the number i got is wrong, will meet him tom early morning to get it (he wants more money!)
• Sat 30 May – 7:30pm: You dont want to know.
• Tue 2 June – 7:00pm: My car totally broke up
• Thu 4 June – 6:00pm: Total cost to fix car and renew license etc 3200LE

lets try to do a rational analysis looking at the past events, we can find the irony in the following:

• The work’s laptop had to be stolen(2nd time ) when i merely completed a month at my new work!
• It also had to be stolen just the next day where my father was accusing me of being careless and tells me to watch out where i place my laptop in car!!!!!
• My colleague at work HAD to ask for a ride that day!
• He had to live next to Diwan!
• The theif had to pass by my car during the 10 mins i left it unattended!!!
• The glass HAD to break the next day!!!

Do you think it’s all a coincidence? i think NOT!

Just to remind you:

• Left to themselves, things tend to go from bad to worse
• Smile today. . . tomorrow will be worse
• If it seems to good to be true, it probably isn’t

ان حظي كدقيق فوق شوك نثروه ,,, ثم قالو لحفاة يوم ريح اجمعوه !!!
صعب الأمر عليهم ثم قالو اتركوه ,,, ان من اشقاه ربي كيف انتم تسعدوه!!!

I always say i am the most unlucky person, catastrophe magnet person you could ever meet; and still many people do not believe me.

Here  are two incidents that happened the last 2 weeks.

1 - The Worm – الدودة

There is that new fancy coffee shop chains that recently opened, they opened a branch at work, so in their second day of opening, i decided to take a break from work and go get myself a treat from there. I thought a nice cake with a cup of tea would be great.

The place is in a very strategic place in the office, with a great view and comfortable seats and the prices are specially discounted for the company employees too!!! which is a really nice thing to have at work!!!

I go through all menu and chose an “Eclaire gateaux”… a few bites later, guess what i find on the plate sharing the food with me? YES! a nice huge GREEN worm!

2- The Wii Tragedy – مأساه الويى

A friend of mine was in a visit to China, i told him to get me a Wii from there as it is WAY much cheaper there(save 3500LE). I made sure to inform my friend to try the Wii there and make sure its modded so i can run my own CDs on it.

I got the device 2 days ago; and finally, yesterday i had a chance to open it. I was so damn excited, when i runned it, i discovered that everything is in Japanese, the menus, the manuals, EVERYTHING!!!

I said ok, no problem i’ll learn my way through the menus, and I took the first CD and put it in, only to discover that it doesn’t run PAL cds,,only NTSC!!!

I said ok, out of the 11 CDs i have only 1 is NTSC, i can try that one, so i put the CD in and start the game, only to discover that if the Wii language is Japanese, all the games will run with Japanese text and Japanese sounds!!!

So yea!!! I have a totally useless Wii that i cant use or run CDs on it!

 و على رأى المثل: قليل البخت يلاقى العضم فى البيتزا

It’s all because of Marina, in an indirect way.

My parents went to the north coast and wanted me to join them, but since i hate the north coast and marina, and since i couldn’t afford a vacation of work. I decided to join them on this past weekend, on their way there, my dad had a small car accident (thank God, my parents are fine) so the car is wrecked, so the plan was changed, as i will have to go pick them up from there at the end of next week as they have no car now.

So i have been staying at home alone for quite a few days, and since i had nothing planned for the weekend, i decided to go Dahab to dive. After a beautiful weekend, diving in Dahab, i come back home yesterday (Sunday at 3:30:am) after a nice 6 hours driving, dead tired and wishing for nothing but a bed to sleep!

I open the door, to smell a very disgusting smell, like a dead animal or something, i open the lights, to find the apartment floating in red smelly water.

I discovered that when i was cooking dinner on wednesday, i forgot to close the Deep Freezer properly, so obviously, at that weather, leaving it for 3 days, it melt.

And that red water is melted ice with the blood from all the meat my mom *HAS JUST* stocked for Ramadan, the smell is the moisture from leaving all that crap in this weather for 3 days.

So you can imagine me at 4:00am, dead tired, trying to clean up a HUGE mess…

My first idea, was to make a big barrel of water mixed with Clorox, soap and vinegar to clean this….right after i emptied that mix on the floor, I DISCOVERED (after living in that house for 23 years) that we don’t have a sink(بلاعة) in the kitchen!

Seconds later, water, mixed with soap, vinegar, moisture and blood, started to fill the whole apartment and ruining the carpets (the carpets that my mom brought from the dry clean 10 days ago)… I almost cried

(looked something like this, but with water, blood & soap)

I can’t tell you how much fun i had yesterday (its today early actually), i got no sleep at all, and everything still smells like a dead raccoon. Not to mention how much my mom is frustrated at me, she just wants to kill me.

IF ONLY MY PARENTS DIDN’T GO TO MARINA!!!! (one more reason why not to go to marina & the north coast!)

I had many people speak to me, saying that i am not so unlucky and there is no such thing as disasters magnet and that it’s all just a coincidence and that probably me putting all these thoughts in my mind is what causing it.

So i thought to myself, and i was like “Yea, it could be true, i’ll just not think about that anymore”

But here’s what happened:

All the Egyptians in the company working in Riyadh at the moment gathered in the office to watch the final match between Egypt & Cameroon (WELL DONE EGYPT!!! i never really thought we could make it….well done)
Thank God we won, or they could’ve killed me if we didnt

Our office is in a HUGE building called “Al Faysaliah – الفيصلية” which is one of the very few massive buildings in Riyadh.

There are 5 elevators in that building, so after the match we all decided to go back to the hotel and so, we get into one of the elevators and it’s really neat and clean, the elevator is BIG the sign says it fits 15 persons, it’s made by Mitsubishi and it’s really advanced (DOH! it needs an electronic access card to operate)

We were 7 inside it, less than half the allowed capacity, while the elevator moved down, a few shakes hit us, but it’s okay.
Just the minute we are near the ground floor, the elevator stops.

Opps, we’re stuck in the elevator!!!!!

We tried every possible button combination one could imagine, shouting and screaming and everything (the alarm button did not seem to work)

After a few minutes, we called our friends from the office who were lucky enough not to get into the same elevator as us to call the security, just seconds later, the speaker in the elevator worked (looks like that alarm button was working after all )

A saudi speaking guy, saying stuff i didn’t understand, later they translated to me he was telling us to wait, and asked how long we’ve been here.

They try to open the door, they successfully do, but we were afraid to jump, as the elevator was stuck between two floors, if it moves while someone is jumping, it could cut him in half

so we told them to leave the door open for a few mins to get some fresh air in, and to try and move the elevator from the main control unit. To do so , we had to close the door first (so the elevator can move)

But hey! no luck

It was more than 20 mins passed since we’ve been stuck in there, so i was really tired and i decided just to sit on the floor until we get out ( i have some pictures will post them later)

So we decided that if they can’t move it, we’ll risk jumping out of the door if that’s our only choice…. but (why must be always a but? ) they cant open the door again…somehow, for some weird reason, the tool they use to open the door, or the door itself i dunno, became loose and doesn’t want to open.

It’s like, i gave you a chance to escape and you refused it, now you’ll be stuck here forever
Many people decided to sit down like me, as we were all tired

we called the police to ask for help.

After about 45-60mins they managed to open the door again and we all jumped out safely.

You have no idea what looks everyone gave me , you know in the movies, when they catch an evil witch in the 17th century, how everyone look at her? i was the evil witch

So yea, 7 of us got stuck in an elevator for almost an hour

looks like i will have a disaster to blog about everyday, so wait for the series. You know what, the only good thing about this, is that no one gets hurt (so far, ya rab dayman)

People always think that i am exaggerating when i say that i am so unlucky…

Here are a few things that happened to me during the past 2 days while am in Riyadh (Saudi Arabi) on a business trip:

• Weather turns to be extremely cold
• Leased line between the client (where am supposed to work) and the data center (where the servers are) is not working
• Had to work in the data center, where the air condition is never turned off and there are no chairs
• When my laptop battery runs out, there is no electric plug to charge it
• While eating i broke another tooth of mine (usual, eh?)
• The next day, just when the leased line has been fixed, my laptop keyboard is not working
• When i get a USB keyboard, it doesn’t work too….
• When i disassemble the laptop (took me 3 hours) just to discover that the USB keyboard is not working too
• Just when i get another USB keyboard that actually works, the windows decides to die
• After i use a desktop computer, i can’t install any of the software i need on it
• When i finally find a windows CD to install windows on my laptop, i can’t find the serial number
• I know how to get a serial number from the internet…but hello and welcome to Saudi Arabia, they have internet censorship, the crack sites are censored.

Ok, so PLEASE!!!PLEASE!!!! no one complains about his luck again… if you think you’re unlucky, just read this post again please.

again, murphey’s laws

thanks, wish me luck…i might commit suicide soon

Looks like 2008 is gonna be a stupid, annoying, dull, unlucky and &*&^#@$ year.
It’s just the 2nd day of the year, and here’s what happened:

Yesterday, i was heading back home from work, having my radio tuned to NileFM, they had this contest of 20questions, where the guy asks the presenters up to 20 questions and he tries to identify the “thing” they are thinking of. If he wins, he gets a 300LE coupon for a fancy Italian restaurant.

I never participate in *ANY* kind of competition on the TV or radio, i never win, and they are fake most of the time (not the one’s on NileFM), but yesterday, i knew the object they are talking about after a few questions, and NONE of the 3 persons who called and played the game knew it.

So i thought i’d send them an SMS and play the game, which i did, but i didn’t have any high hopes that they would call me back, because i know myself, i never win anything!

I was REALLY surprised a few minutes later when they sent an SMS with the following: “will call you soon “, i was really in surprised, i thought for a while i must be dreaming! i can’t win anything, it’s against the laws of nature, Charafantah cannot win or get lucky. But it’s sure now, i know the answer, and they just sent an SMS saying they would call, nothing can stop me from winning

A minute later, they called, i pickup my cell phone and answer, and…………………NOTHING………….SILENCE
i look at the screen, to find the call is still ringing with a silent tone, i press the answer button again, nothing happens it’s still ringing, the *(@#$% phone freezed.

Am really serious, and i am not making this up!!! Can you imagine that? CAN YOU?

Off course they hang up, i restarted my phone and it came back to normal, i tried to call again, but alas! they had another contestant on the show already, it was already so obvious from the previous contestants, so he answered correctly after 1 try. And he won.

Looks like am having a GREAT start for 2008!
No comment!

I HATE YOU ALL!!!!!

I never complained about my luck, but am pretty sure am not lucky at all, just a few examples before telling you what happened to me:

• My car price went down 6,000LE 5 days after i bought it
• My car went into 2 *BAD* accidents and i wasn’t even driving or in the car
• I never lost a cell phone, they all manage to*DIE* with no obvious reason ( i don’t drop them or anything)
• I never won anything, i always have to be last in queue and NEVER found a good parking spot
• Anything i buy must be outdated or it’s price decreases just a few days after i buy it
• All my favorite cloth MUST get teared or something gets spilled on it

These are a few examples of what my luck brings me, but i never complained because am pretty sure there are people worse than me.

Anyway, for some weird reasons, it’s only the 15th of the month, and am TOTALLY out of money, not only that, but i haven’t paid my car installment, i have a few debts and off course i need money to live to the end of the month.
I will not mention off course traveling in eid vacation or buying new cloth…this is luxury to me now that i can’t afford… specially that all my plans of spending the xmas and new year abroad has vanished

So, i was with my parents yesterday getting some stuff done, when my father wanted to check something on my phone, so i take it out, i start the camera, and there’s this weird error that keeps popping up, everything i try is not working.

So i restarted the phone, and”hello!” there is no answer, the phone screen is dead, i can’t see anything, ok great!!!!just exactly what i need now! a broken phone….

According to murphey’s law, and because problems must come together i will not remind you that ALL my contact numbers are stored on phone, there are a dozen people that am expecting calls from and whom i don’t want to answer, i have to make some VERY important calls (i might get money out of it)

Anyway, i gave up to my fate, but suddenly this morning, something weird happened, i had the phone switched off and i tried to put it on again ( i know if it’s on or off from the keypad lights) and BOOM!!! it’s working again….

So, it’s good news, right? WRONG!

I thought to myself, if this phone is going to break soon, i must copy all the contact to SIM card so just in case it happens, i save my a$$…

Only to find out that the COPY to SIM option is no existing on the phone!!! i go like WTF!!! it’s not there, there is only copy to phone, but no copy to SIM….

And the copy option have disappeared from the contacts menu too….i googled for 30mins, with no results, i restart the phone, and still no result.

I hate all cell phones, i hate samsung, and i hate YOU ALL! ALL!! :@

I now want around 2000LE(350$, not too much, eh! can you lend me some money, plz? ) to pay my due bills and afford living to the end of the month without begging in the streets (عامة الشتاء داخل…..ممكن أسرح بعربية بطاطا)

Why this happens to me?and why in the most inopportune time? again, it’s the Murphy’s laws i guess….

Readers Discretion is Strongly Advised

The following story, explains the Murphey’s Laws and show how they work in real life.

So, i went to After8 (it’s a pub in Tahreer التحرير in Kasr El Nil Street شارع قصر النيل), well, the place is very nice, it’s very small and crowded, but the atmosphere is very nice, playing Live Music from a nice band (i don’t know the name), and from time to time the DJ takes over, it is a bit expensive (17.5LE for a small mineral water bottle, thats a ripoff) but i don’t really mind, the place is really good.

Anyway, am not doing a review here.

At around midnight, my phone battery started to die and kept saying low battery.
My friends left at around 3:00am, and i had to stay waiting for a foreign friend of mine whom i will meet in a place nearby. He was so late and didn’t call, so i left, and on my way out i tried to call him, offcourse, the phone died on battery.

I couldn’t call him, and i can’t get the number, i went back again into the pub, to ask if anyone has a charger, but luckily, no one owns a stupid samsung phone like i do.

So i headed for my car, which was parked far away (near Omar Makram mosque), i remember that i had a car charger somewhere in the trunk.
After a long while  looking through the mess, i found the charger, plug it in the car, only to find it’s not working.

I started to get worried, that my friend will come and will try to call me, to find my phone switched off, and he will probably get lost and will not know what to do.

Now the problem is that even i can find another phone and put my SIM in it, it will not work, because i use the phone memory to store all the numbers.

Luckily, i remembered that i have my old SIM card in my wallet (i just changed my phone line a few weeks ago) and it have the number of a friend who knows the other friend number

The thing is that i don’t have a working phone aslan phone   i wandered around, trying to find an open koshk at 3:45am in down town!!!

Luckily, i found one that is still open, in a street nearby After8, but the guy is sleeping, i wake him up, ask him to do me the favor of putting my SIM in his phone and make the call.

The guy was nice, and he accepted, i plug in the old SIM, got the number, now i had to put back my original SIM to call the guys (because the old line is not working anymore), i preferred to do this, because my friend will probably not answer a weird number waking him up at 4:00am.

Just when it starts ringing, the old nokia phone died….i asked him what’s wrong, he told me the battery is shaky, try again and try not to move.

Finally i managed to get the number, and i called my friend, to find out that he is waiting for me right next to After 8.

I thanked the guy, i tried to give him money but he refused, thanked him again and left.

Off course, you all know that i get lost quite easily in down town.

And i had no clue how to get back to After 8, so, since it was 4:00am, and there is no cars in the streets, i decided to go back in the wrong way of the street so i know where am going.(yes, its wrong, my bad, i know )

For my luck, just when am about to get into the correct way of the street, a police officer saw me, he told me to stop, so i stopped at the right.

He came to me with another guy in normal cloths, and he asked for my license and registration. (el ro7′as)

I told him am sorry, am a bit lost, it’s 4:00am  BLAH BLAH BLAH

He asked me where am going, what am doing now etc….

Then he said, you seem to be a nice guy, (ebn nas w keda), and he held the license right next to my face.

So i say: “Thanks, can i leave now?”, he says: “Yes, sure…..it’s just that am out of credit, and you know scratch cards to recharge  the phone are expensive and such” “انت عارف بقى الدنيا ليل وأنا معيش رصيد, عيزين نجيب كارت شحن كدة ولا حاجة”

So i understood he will not let me go unless i pay him, i took out 20LE and gave it to him, he handed me back the license.

I go and meet my friend, just to find out that he lost his wallet, which had all his credit cards, important docs and 1300LE…

We head to each and every place we went to, and as expected, we didn’t find anything.

We went home….

Summary:

• If you think things cannot go worse….THEY CAN AND THEY WILL!!!!
• If there is a chance of several things going wrong at the same time, the one that will cost most damage will occur first.
• But still that doesn’t mean i didn’t have fun before that in After 8
• All police officers must be shot in the head, or somewhere else