Charafantah’s Cave

الإشارات تكشف نواياك للأعداء….لا تستخدمها

جحا المصرى

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كل سنة و أنتم طيبين وكل عام و أنتم بخير و عقبال ما نباركلكم يوم فرحكم

مش عارف لية….بس أنا مستغرب رمضان أوى السنة دى….يمكن عشان خلاص إبتدى يدخل فى الصيف

أو يمكن عشان نزلت الصبح لقيت إزاز (زجاج يعنى) عربيتى مكسور من غير سبب

أو يمكن عشان لسة مدخلتش فى مود رمضان

ما علينا! المهم أن كل سنة وأنتم طيبين….أما بقى أن أنا مستغرب رمضان فدى مش مشكلتنا

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“I don’t own a cell phone or a pager. I just hang around everyone I know, all the time. If someone wants to get a hold of me, they just say ‘Mitch,’ and I say ‘what?’ and turn my head slightly.”

Mitch Hedberg

Why it’s not that simple?

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It’s the olympics now! everyone has the olympics fever!

And I thank God that Egypt is named Egypt and not Zimbabwe or something….Why?

BECAUSE THE ONLY REASON WE ARE RANKED 60 out of 64 in the Olympics is that our name starts with an “E”!!!

Following is a list of names of all countries who achieved more medals than us:

1. China (ok)
2. USA (ok)
3. UK (ok)
4. Germany (ok)
5. Australia (ok)
6. Japan (ok)
7. Korea (ok)
8. Russia (ok)
9. Italy (ok)
10. Ukrania (leh ba2a?)
11. France (ok)
12. Romania (ok)
13. Slovakia (be2amaret eh?)
14. Netherlands (ok)
15. Czech Republic (mashy)
16. Poland (ok, ahom ete7ad oropy bardo)
17. New Zealand (ok)
18. Spain (ok)
19. Switzerland (ok)
20. Georgia (aiwa, ely bey7arbo dool)
21. Cuba (beto3 el cigar)
22. Zimbabwe (ad3′al Afrikia)
23. Azerbaijan (law 3ereft makanha 3al khareta teksab rob3 geneh)
24. Norway (ok)
25. Canda (ok)
26. DPR Korea (meen dol?)
27. Finland (ok)
28. Mongolia (Jankeez Khan?)
29. Brazil (mesh kano beto3 kora w bas?)
30. Denmark (ok)
31. Indonesia (eshme3na homa?)
32. Bulgaria (ok)
33. Ethiopia (betou3 el maga3a,,,homa dol)
34. India (aiwa, ely benetarya2 3alehom w homa a7san menena 100 mara)
35. Jamaica (Beto3 bob marley wel dema3′ wel 7agat el gamda di)
36. Thailand (ok)
37. Tunisia (mesh 3arab dol? la2 mesh 3arab…3eeb mat2olsh 3alehom keda)
38. Hungary (ok)
39. Kazakhstan (fen bezabt?)
40. Sweden (ok)
41. Belarus (!!!)
42. Turkey (ok)
43. Austria (ok)
44. Slovenia (?)
    
45. Algeria (mesh 3arab dol? la2 mesh 3arab…3eeb mat2olsh 3alehom keda)
46. Colombia (leh ya3ny!)
47. Greece (ok, le3bethom aslan!)
    
48. Kyrgyzstan (bezemetak seme3t 3anha abl keda?)
    
49. Serbia (beto3 el 7arb dol…aiwa homa dol)
    
50. Uzbekistan (meen?)
    
51. Ecuador (feen?)
    
52. Estonia (leh?)
    
53. Kenya (Akely lo7om el bashar ely benetarya2 3alehom dol!?)
    
54. Trinidad/Tobago (ad madinet nasr keda)
    
55. Vietnam (3arfenha tab3an!)
    
56. Armenia (aiwa, el balad ely nos sokanha mehagreen)
    
57. Taipei (7arb?)

So, YES! we got 1 medal! masha2allah 3alena….aho, a7san men 0 beta3 el world cup…w menha bardo nekteshef enena balad ay kalam,,,bas fen el sha3b wel 7akoma ely ye7eso?

This is a list of ALL medals Egypt won since the start of modern Olympics:

So if you can see the pattern like me..it’s كان زمان و جبر

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It’s all because of Marina, in an indirect way.

My parents went to the north coast and wanted me to join them, but since i hate the north coast and marina, and since i couldn’t afford a vacation of work. I decided to join them on this past weekend, on their way there, my dad had a small car accident (thank God, my parents are fine) so the car is wrecked, so the plan was changed, as i will have to go pick them up from there at the end of next week as they have no car now.

So i have been staying at home alone for quite a few days, and since i had nothing planned for the weekend, i decided to go Dahab to dive. After a beautiful weekend, diving in Dahab, i come back home yesterday (Sunday at 3:30:am) after a nice 6 hours driving, dead tired and wishing for nothing but a bed to sleep!

I open the door, to smell a very disgusting smell, like a dead animal or something, i open the lights, to find the apartment floating in red smelly water.

I discovered that when i was cooking dinner on wednesday, i forgot to close the Deep Freezer properly, so obviously, at that weather, leaving it for 3 days, it melt.

And that red water is melted ice with the blood from all the meat my mom *HAS JUST* stocked for Ramadan, the smell is the moisture from leaving all that crap in this weather for 3 days.

So you can imagine me at 4:00am, dead tired, trying to clean up a HUGE mess…

My first idea, was to make a big barrel of water mixed with Clorox, soap and vinegar to clean this….right after i emptied that mix on the floor, I DISCOVERED (after living in that house for 23 years) that we don’t have a sink(بلاعة) in the kitchen!

Seconds later, water, mixed with soap, vinegar, moisture and blood, started to fill the whole apartment and ruining the carpets (the carpets that my mom brought from the dry clean 10 days ago)… I almost cried

(looked something like this, but with water, blood & soap)

I can’t tell you how much fun i had yesterday (its today early actually), i got no sleep at all, and everything still smells like a dead raccoon. Not to mention how much my mom is frustrated at me, she just wants to kill me.

IF ONLY MY PARENTS DIDN’T GO TO MARINA!!!! (one more reason why not to go to marina & the north coast!)

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